An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new 
Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the 
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her 
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." 
The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

Listen about that guy who was pulled over for running a
stop sign.  When the cop checked the man's driver's license,
he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not 
now.  I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that."  The guy 
said, "Officer, I have *contacts*."  The cop said, "Look, buddy, 
I don't care *who* you know -- I'm giving you a ticket."

Ukraine man crashes car as 50 pagers ring at once

January 14, 1999

KIEV, Ukraine (Reuters) -- A Ukraine businessman who bought a pager for
each member of his staff as a New Year gift was so alarmed when all 50 of
them went off at the same time that he drove his car into a lamp post, a
newspaper said on Thursday.

The unnamed businessman was returning from the pager shop when the accident
happened, the Fakty daily reported.

"With no more than 100 meters to go to the office, the 50 pagers on the
back seat suddenly burst out screeching. The businessman's fright was such
that he simply let go of the steering wheel and the the car ploughed into a
lamp post."

After he had assessed the damage to the car, the businessman turned his
attention to the message on the 50 pagers. It read: "Congratulations on a
successful purchase!