"The stupid thing is, UNIX vendors insist on defining their market down to
 the point that they believe that they are market leaders (if your market is
 40,000 units, and you have 35,000 of them, then you must be the big fish,
 right?  Time to wield that 'ol monopolistic power...), instead of competing
 in the larger market.

 We're all computers.
 No, we're everything but mainframes.
 No, we're mini-computers.
 No, we're workstations and servers.
 No, we're servers.
 No, we're... we're... we're out of business."

-- Terry Lambert, comp.unix.bsd.freebsd.misc

"alt.tv.teletubbies is like a lava lamp with the words 'LOVE', 'TELETUBBIES',
 'TINKY-WINKY', and 'SEX' swirling around inside."
                        -- James "Kibo" Parry

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other
athletic facilities.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
   reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered
   other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
   --Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. 

    - Geraldo Rivera