After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And
she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

                 -Gary Shandling

My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as a friend.

                       ---Rodney Dangerfield

Reality is only just a word.

    - Harry Chapin 

If at first you don't succeed...skydiving isn't for you.

"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate
it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it
and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for
seventy-five cents." 

     - Billiam Coronel