Everything takes longer than you expect.

If you can't get your books or receipts to balance out,
here's a useful term vending machine distributors rely
on: "Slug Factor." 

    - Rich Hall 

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out.
They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their
heads in a nodding position.

    -- John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information, responding to a
    charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant
    operators were sleeping on the job.

Ross's Law
Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from
the floor-especially in the dark.