He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication,
she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"

               There was a young girl of Samoa 
               Who determined that no man should know her. 
                    One young fellow tried 
                    But she wriggled aside, 
               And spilled all the spermatozoa. 

A young trapeze artist named Bract,
Is faced by a very sad fact.
Imagine his pain,
When again and again,
He catches his wife in the act. 

There was a young fellow named Lancelot
Whom his neighbors all looked on askance a lot.
    Whenever he'd pass
    A presentable lass,
The front of his pants would advance a lot.

                    There was a young lady who came from Decatur,
                            
                    Sang like a bird in a movie theater.
                            An alley cat heard
                            Her sing like a bird,
                            
                    So he snuck in her room and he ate her.