A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed

   Here I sit
   Broken hearted
   Tried to shit
   But only farted


  

There was a long lady named Weaver 
               Who had intercourse with a beaver. 
                    The result of their fuck 
                    Was a canvas-back duck, 
               Two muskrats and a hump-backed retriever. 

               "Last night," said a lassie named Ruth, 
               "In a long-distance telephone booth, 
                    I enjoyed the perfection 
                    Of an ideal connection--- 
               I was screwed, if you must know the truth." 

There was a young girl of Machias
Whose bloomers were cut on the bias,
With an opening behind
To let out the wind,
And to let the boys in once or twias.