There was once a prostitute named Sue
Who filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin
If they pay to get in
And they'll pay to get out too.

There was a young man from Montrose 
               Who could diddle himself with his toes. 
                    He did it so neat 
                    He fell in love with his feet, 
               And christened them Myrtle and Rose

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that
sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

               A depraved old Jew from Estretto 
               Buggered every young man in the ghetto. 
                    He once had his hose in 
                    A musician, composing, 
               Who said: "Not so slow---allegretto!" 

(Yeah, I know it's nasty...)

A sailor indulged in coitus 
               With a cow of the genus of Cetus. 
                    Piscatologists thundered, 
                    Biologists wondered, 
               At the anchor tattooed on the fetus.