There once was a girl named Miss Nokes, 
Who showed her behind to the folks. 
Everyone cheered, 
And a vendor appeared 
Selling hotdogs and popcorn and Cokes. 

There was a young man named McNamiter 
               With a tool of prodigious diameter. 
                    But it wasn't the size 
                    Gave the girls a surprise, 
               But his rhythm---iambic pentameter. 

There was a young lass from Hoboken 
            Who said that her hymen was broken 
                From riding a bike, 
                on a cobble stone pike. 
            In truth, it was broken from pokin'. 

            There once was a woman from York 
            Who used to eat shit with a fork. 
                Her son said, "You goon, 
                You eat shit with a spoon. 
            It`s pork that you eat with a fork." 

Netting a catch
===============

I met her on the Internet,
she said her name was Kiki,
I spoke to her one Saturday,
it soon became twice weekly.

I liked her face, her pointed chin,
the way she touched her hair,
I loved her smile and glinting eyes,
and all beyond in there

I longed to meet her desperately,
but only could I dream,
of seeing her in the flesh
and not just on the screen

I booked my flight
and flew for hours,
I was feeling so elated
but finally, when we met
her face looked devastated

Why was this? I could not think.
Of course, I should have told her
I'm really only 4 feet tall,
and my head's a lot more balder.

It always seemed too good for real,
the honeymoon was over,
I reluctantly went home again,
and wept as I flew over
 
and soon enough , I did groan,
the relationship had ended
she broke my heart
the wretched bitch,
and still it hasn't mended

there is a happy ending though,
for after I lost Kiki,
I fell in love with Annabel
who doesn't find me geeky

Anna is a lovely sight,
she makes me warm inside
I have to blow her up, you see
cause she's my latex bride


Sent by Dan