Any whore whose door sports a red light 
               Knows a prick when she sees one, all right. 
                    She can tell by a glance 
                    At the drape of men's pants 
               If they're worth taking on for the night. 

There was an old maid in Van Nuys 
               Who went crazy from making mud pies. 
                    She would fill them with farts 
                    And pickled beef-hearts, 
               And bake them between her fierce thighs. 

                    A beautiful lady named Psyche
                            
                    Is loved by a fellow named Ikey.
                            One thing about Ike
                            The lady can't like
                            
                    Is his prick, which is dreadfully spikey.
                            

There was a sad prude out in Iowa 
               Who would say, "Please say it my way: 
                    Do not say fuck, 
                    It don't rhyme with duck. 
               Say untcay and itshay and uckfay." 

There once was a gay young Parisian 
            Who came to an awful decision: 
                For his sexual joys 
                He'd have women and boys, 
            And snakes too---and no supervision!