Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95.
Isaac is incredulous. 'Pop,' he says, 'you can't run Windows 95 on your
old, slow 386. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 486 with a
minimum of 16 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with 
Windows 95.'
But Abraham, the man of faith, gazed calmly at his son and replied, 'God
will provide the RAM, my son'.

What's green and has wheels?



A Frog

I lied about the wheels

Virus Alert



There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propogated through
the email system.  If you get an email message with the subject: "VIRUS
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VERY IMPORTANT:  If you do get this virus, the first thing dlkfjaid
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I've never understood why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don't listen,
they don't come in when you call, they like
to stay out all night, come home and expect
to be fed and stroked, then want to be left
alone and sleep. In other words, every quality
that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an
unusual offer.

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you
get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey'
and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate
it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100
bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to
that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes
time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye 
and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her 
every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your 
life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will
not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "I do."
Then, he leaned toward the pastor and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back, "She made
me a much better offer."