Henry Abel's son, David, burst into the house, crying like everything.
His Mama asked him what the problem was. "Pop and I were fishing, and he 
hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while reeling it in, the line 
busted and the fish got away." "Now come on, David," his mother said, "a 
big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You 
should have laughed." "That's what I did, Mama." 

Father Goose Story No. 8



     There was this troupe of dancers that traveled around
the country dancing in clubs and theaters.  They were called
the Steppers.  At one club, the Steppers did such a good job
of pulling in patrons that the management gave them all the
drinks they could drink after the show.

     Well, they all got plastered and were having a big party.
When it came time to get on their bus to travel to the next town,
they did not want to stop partying, so they just moved the party
to the bus.  As they rode down the highway, you could here their
yelling, singing, and laughing for miles.

     At a house along that very highway, there lived a family that
had a pet snake.  It was a viper, and it's name was Peter.  That
night, Peter Viper was asleep in his snake house in the back yard.
Suddenly, he was awakened by a loud racket.  It was the bus
carrying the Steppers still having their party.  But Peter didn't
know that.  In his confusion, he thought he was back in deep dark
Africa being pursued by Pygmies.  He slithered out of his snake
house, headed across the yard as fast as he could, and crossed the
highway just in front of the bus.  The bus driver, who was a little
sleepy, saw Peter Viper in the road, and mistook him for a giant log.
He swerved, and the bus landed in the ditch, drunk Steppers
lying everywhere.

     The next day, the headline in the paper read "Peter Viper
wrecks a truck of pickled Steppers".

A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend
had proposed but she had turned him down because she found
out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell.
"Marry him anyway, dear." the Mother said. "Between the two
of us, we'll show him just how *wrong* he is."

                       Bill Clinton Statue Committee
                                      
                             1040 Waffle Street
                                      
                        Little Rock, Arkansas 72208
                                      
Dear Friend;

We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising
of $5,000,000.00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame
in Washington, D.C.

This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue.  It was
not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never
told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since
Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.

We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest
democrat of all.  He left not knowing where he was going, did not know
where he was, and returned not knowing where he had been.  And he did it
all on borrowed money.

Over 3,000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your
shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised
land."  Nearly 3,000 years later Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels,
sit on your asses and light up a camel - this is the promised land."

Now, Bill Clinton is going to steal your shovels, kick your asses, raise
the price of camels and mortgage the promised land.  If you are one of the
fortunate people who has anything left after paying taxes, we expect a
very generous contribution to the worthwhile project.

Fraternally,



Bill Clinton Statue Committee


P.S. It is said that BIll Clinton is considering changing the Democratic
     Party emblem from a donkey to a condom, because it stands for
     inflation, halts productivity, covers up a bunch of pricks, and it
     gives a false sense of security.
  

Telegram received from ex-employee:

"Fuck you. I quit. Strong message to follow."