Great A Hot & Juicy Story

   Well, I was loafin' around the salad bar at the burger stand one chili
   day on Coney Island, when I Frito-Lay'd my eyes on the sweetest little
   tomato I'd ever seen. Let's just say I could tell she wasn't gonna be
   ice-cold or taste like some of those cheaper spreads I'd eaten.
   So I mustard up my courage and I whispered, "Hey, Mama Bird! You got a
   sweet set of sesame-seed buns, and I'd live to bury my open-face in
   your McMuffin snack pack. And maybe later I could drive-in my Jumbo
   Jack in your Box. So, what's your name, anyway?"
   "Wendy," she replied, and said that her buns were always hot and
   fresh. Well, it seemed like an invitation to me, so I unzipped my
   French-fly, pulled down my hash-browns and whipped out my
   Quarter-Pounder.
   She took one look at my foot-long Weinerschnitzel and said, "Holy
   enchirito, what a Whopper! I haven't seen a sausage and a pair of
   McNuggets like that since I was in the sack with Long John Silver over
   at the Colonel's place, and I probably won't see another 'til Foster
   freezes over. And believe me, I relish the thought of squeezin' the
   mayonnaise right outta that big Sloppy Joe of yours."
   I said, "Look, honey...those meatheads are just horseradish. I'm the
   supreme Burger King around here. And by the way, aren't you hungry?"
   "Yeah," she shot back, "I haven't even had my breakfast, Jack." It
   wasn't long before she was munching on my Big Mac and eventually took
   down the whole enchilada. I could tell I wouldn't be able to hold the
   pickles or hold the lettuce much longer, so I just blew a whole gallon
   of my lo-cal secret sauce to go. She took a big gulp and giggled,
   "Oooh, that's fast food. A bit salty, but quality you can taste...and
   finger lickin' good, too!"
   She said, "So what's yer name, hot dog? Orange you Julius?"
   "No," I replied, but you can call me Pizza Man, 'cause I deliver!"
   Well anyway, I turned her around, tore off her wrapper, and wedged my
   Big Boy between her patties and right up into her hot cherry bendover.
   She screamed, "I FOUND THE BEEF, I FOUND THE BEEF!" which just gave me
   the urge to keep pounding my SuperBurrito in and out...in and
   out...and in and out...and in and out of her hot little micro.
   Well, we were still playing Pup 'n' Taco , when she confessed her real
   name wasn't Wendy...but Ronald.
   Hey, it wasn't my bag, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about
   taking her over to see Dr. Pepper to have him pull a Carl's Jr. out of
   her oven.
   Yeah, little did I know that I had spend the night not with a saucy
   little fish filet, but with a flaming Dairy Queen!

Good News, Bad News, Worse News VIII
 
  Good: 
        You came home for a quickie
   Bad: 
        The postman had the same idea
 Worse: 
        You have to wait

It was the age when knighthood was in flower.
A young lady was pounding away at a piece of
iron with a sledgehammer. Another young lady
saw her and asked, "What are you doing?"
The first one answered, "I'm making socks and
sweater for some soldier boy!"

Girl woke up in the morning after a party and found an Elephant in bed
beside her.
She said "I must have been tight last night"
The Elephant said "You were the first time but second time was'nt so bad"

Sent by lcg

Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to bite ears?

A: How else do you tell a 275 pound inmate that "no means no"?