What is the difference between the government and the Mafia?


                                         One of them is organized.

Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria.
One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest;
he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends
sitting along the sides.
When the cafeteria was pretty full of people,
he made a loud noise (to attract attention),
stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest.
This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table;
the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid.
I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.

Why do women fake orgasms?

Because men fake foreplay.

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the 
superior culture. 
 
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great  Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman  Empire"

...and so on and so on and then the Greek says: "We invented sex"
The Italian says "That is true, but it  was the Italians who
introduced it to women."

What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?

All you can eat for under a buck.