Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and
crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry Son, your
mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." 
The next night, its fathers turn to do the job.
"Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing
joy to new mommies and daddies." 
A few days later, the stork parents are desperate, their son is gone from
the nest all night. Finally, shortly before dawn, he returns and the
parents ask their son where he had been all night. 
Says the baby stork, "Awww, just scaring the shit out of college kids!" 

An aging hooker volunteered to give the novice a few tips on the art of 
fellatio. Satisfied that she had perfected the basics, the old pro asked 
the beginner if she had any questions.
"Well yeah. I was wondering how long dicks should be sucked."
"The same as the short ones, honey." 

A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up 
to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really 
rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is 
amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a 
chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around 
in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. 
Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided. You 
will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. 
The salary package is $200,000 a year.". The young man said, "You're 
bullshitting me, man!" The man behind the counter said, "Well, you 
started it!"

What do you call an  intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A rumor 

What's another term for cunnilingus? 

Genital Slurpees.