Listen about that guy who was pulled over for running a
stop sign.  When the cop checked the man's driver's license,
he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not 
now.  I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that."  The guy 
said, "Officer, I have *contacts*."  The cop said, "Look, buddy, 
I don't care *who* you know -- I'm giving you a ticket."

Watertown, New York:

It was eagle-eyed zookeepers who noticed first.
The DNA testing only proved what they already
suspected.
The Thompson Park Zoo's American bald eagle breeding
program was going nowhere. Not with two males, anyway.
"We had our suspicions right away. The birds are
virtually the identical size," said Director
Glenn D. Dobrogosz, who laughed Tuesday about the
gender mix-up that provided a comical start to the
zoo's new eagle breeding program.
"It happens. Not a lot. But it happens," he said.
The two American bald eagles - supposedly a male and
female - arrived at the zoo last July from the Bird
Treatment and Learning Center in Anchorage, Alaska.
The two males became good buddies but zookeepers
quickly realized there would be no amorous flights
for these two, Dobrogosz said.
Because bald eagle males and females share the same
coloring characteristics, it is difficult to determine
gender by visual inspection. However, in most raptor
species, the female is slightly larger than the male,
he said.
Based on their size and behavior, the Alaska center
mistakenly thought it had sent a male and a female,
Dobrogosz said. It wasn't until the Thompson Park Zoo
took blood samples for DNA testing that it confirmed the
birds' sexes.
"Sure enough, they both were boys," he said.
Now that the confusion has been cleared up, zookeepers are
once again focused on the romancing.
One of the males is being sent to the Clinch Park Zoo in
Traverse City, Mich. Meanwhile, the Watertown zoo already
has received a new female from another raptor rehabilitation
center on Sitka Island in Alaska.
"We're positive this time," Dobrogosz said, heading off the
inevitable inquiry about the bird's gender. 

[UPI, Toronto]
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged
24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into
the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as
he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law
students. Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength
according to police reports. Peter Lauwers, managing partner of the firm
Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was ``one of
the best and brightest'' members of the 200-man association.