Taking a medical history is an experience: The MD, taking a 
sex-behavior history asked: "How many orgasms did you have 
last week?"  The answer: "Counting masturbatory ones and 
wet dreams?"

According to a new study, Americans now spend 94% of their time indoors.
What do you expect from a culture that goes inside a gym to use a walking 
machine?

My wife used to have the habit of disbelieving something with 
the phrase "my ass!"  She would say "Four hundred dollars, 
my ass!" or "30 minutes late, my ass!"  One day a friend of 
mine and I were having a conversation, which she was listening 
to, and I said something like "...so it would be easy to 
penetrate.."  She chimed in... "Penetrate my ass!"  My friend 
and I laughed so long and hard we forgot what we were even 
talking about!  Needless to say, she doesn't say "my ass!" any 
more.