Got in trouble for watching a woman breast feed her baby at the mall, she 
got mad and told her husband to beat the shit out of me....now I admit the 
flashbulb may have made the baby cry.... 

[San Jose Mercury News]
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Real Ad:
Ad seen in the The New York Times last week...

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent
condition.
$1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.