Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know. 

     - Morticia, The Addams Family 

"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives." 

     - Sue Murphy

Anyalyzing humour is like dissecting a frog: nobody enjoys it, and
       the frog usually dies as a result.

The internet is a great way to get on the net 

    - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate 

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
         Dave Edison