"Don't be so humble - you are not that great. " 
    - Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat 

"... well I just spent 20 minutes pretending to be a gay priest called Fred
 while holding up a pole supporting a tightrope for a guy juggling fire..."
                        -- me, true story

"Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than
the Chinese telephone directory." 

Joan Rivers.

The Universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind
- a pretty uncomfortable thought,
particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

     Woody Allen in Getting Even 

"Since all the Heaven's Gates members were discovered wearing Nike sneakers,
 do you think Nike might change their slogan to 'Maybe You Should Think
 About It'?"
                        -- Scott Adams, DNRC Newsletter 14.0