Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which
no remedy exists, unless laughter could be
said to remedy anything.

                                  --Kurt Vonnegut

"The POP3 server service depends on the SMTP server service, which
 failed to initialize because of the following error:
 The operation completed successfully."
                        -- Windows NT Server v3.51

I have an answering machine in my car. It says: I'm
home now,but leave a message and I'll call when
I'm out.

Steven Wright

"Whenever I read "Time" or "Newsweek" or such magazines,
I wash my hands afterward. But how to wash off the small
but odious stain such reading leaves on the mind?"

                                           --Edward Abbey

ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
   I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone
   has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
        -- English Professor, Ohio University