He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart The Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata. 

A lady on climbing Mount Shasta
Complained as the mountain grew vaster,
That it wasn't the climb
Nor the dirt nor the grime
But the ice on her ass that harassed her. 

A pious young lady named Finnegan 
               Would caution her beau, "Now you're in again, 
                    Please watch it just right 
                    So you'll last through the night, 
               For I certainly don't want to sin again." 

               At a four-star hotel in Medan, 
               Yvette dined ensconced with a man, 
                    And horny, yet nervous, 
                    She knew once room service 
               Was over, her service began. 

               A depraved old Jew from Estretto 
               Buggered every young man in the ghetto. 
                    He once had his hose in 
                    A musician, composing, 
               Who said: "Not so slow---allegretto!" 

(Yeah, I know it's nasty...)