There once was a man from Kartomb
Who was exceedingly fond of the womb.
He thought nothing finer
Than the human vagina,
So he kept three of four in his room 

There was a young lady named Clair
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or at least so I thought,
Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and began losing air.

Said a girl from Staraya Russa,
Whom the war had made looser and looser,
"Yes, I'm wormin' a German,
A vermin named Hermann,
But his dink is a lollapalooza!"

A contortionist hailing from Lynch 
            Used to rent out his tool by the inch. 
                A foot cost a quid--- 
                He could and he did 
            Stretch it to three in a pinch. 

From a niche in the crypt at Saint Giles
Came a sound which resounded for miles.
"My goodness gracious,"
Said Father Ignatius.
"I forgot that the Bishop has piles."