There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel 
            Who said, "They can all go to hell! 
                What they do to my wife--- 
                Why it ruins my life; 
            And the worst is, they all do it well." 

There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 

A young sky diver named Sherm
jumped out with his cock long and firm
two jerks and a spasm,
he had an orgasm
and spelled out "I love you" in sperm.

Mary had a little pig
She kept it in a bucket
Cause everytime she took it out
The bulldog tried to fuck it

Sent by bob

There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid!