Once a pirate named Yates 
            Danced the jig for all of his mates. 
                He slipped in his cutlas, 
                And made himself nutless, 
            And now he's quite useless on dates. 

When I was young, I had no sense, 
Stuck my dick in an electric fence. 
It curled my hairs, it tickled my balls, 
It made me crap my overalls.

There once was a geologist named Wassal, 
            Who one day found a colossal fossil. 
                He could tell by the bend, 
                And the knob at the end, 
            That it was the peter of Paul, the apostile. 

            A sadistic young cook, Miss McDillet 
            Gets very upset when you fill it. 
                When she's done and hops off, 
                She lops your thing off, 
            And sautés it up in a skillet. 

There was a young lady from Asia
Who shaved her legs with a razor
     One day she went high
     Right up past here thigh
And the gash it left would amaze ya!