Razors pains you,
Rivers are damp;
Acids stains you'
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses gives;
Gases smells awful,
You might as well live.

         ---Anon

                    A young baseball fan named Miss Glend
                            
                    Was the home team's best rooter and friend,
                            But for her the big league
                            Never held the intrigue
                            
                    Of a bat with two ball at the end.
                            

Part 10 of 12
   
                    It went off in capital style,
                            
                    And he farted it through with a smile,
                            Then, feeling quite jolly,
                            He tried the finale,
                            
                    Blowing double-stopped farts all the while.
                            

Said a girl being had in a shanty, 
"My dear, you have got it in slanty." 
He replied, "I can use 
Any angle I choose. 
I ride as I please---I'm Duranty!" 

The bishop of Winchester Junction 
            Found his phallus would no longer function. 
                So in black crepe he wound it, 
                Tied a lily around it, 
            And solemnly gave it last unction.