Van Gogh found a whore who would lay, 
               And accept a small painting as pay. 
                    "Vive l' Art!" cried Van Gogh, 
                    "But it's too fucking slow--- 
               I wish I could paint ten a day!" 

To Italy went Sinclair Lewis 
               Documenting the life led by loose 
                    American drunks, 
                    But he unpacked his trunks 
               'Cause Florence slipped him a goose. 

Part 1 of 3
There were three young ladies of Birmingham,
And this is the scandal concerning 'em.
They lifted the frock
And tickled the cock
Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em.

There once was a Bishop of Treet
Who decided to be indiscreet,
But after one round
To his horror he found
You repeat, and repeat, and repeat.

There was a young couple named Kelly               
               Who had to live belly to belly, 
               Because once, in their haste, 
               They used library paste 
               Instead of petroleum jelly.