There was a young lady of Exeter, 
                                        So pretty, that men craned their necks at her. 
                                                      One was even so brave 
                                                      As to take out and wave 
                                        The distinguishing mark of his sex at her. 

Here I sit Same as ever
Dirty arse, got no paper
Boss is calling,
Can not linger
Stuff it, I'll use me finger

Sent by Sarah

A girl who is bespectacled
She may not get her necktacled;
But safety pins and bassinets
Await the girl who fassinets.
   
                       --Ogden Nash

Pardon My French
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The finest culture
  Comes from Frontz
And hoe-knee-swat-key
  Molly-ponce!

Sally learned
  To speak in French
She's now a dame
  And not a wench

Dick acquired
  That language fair
And now he's swayve
  And deb-an-err

Speaking French
  Will prove you're better
Show you've got a
  Rays-on-debtor

Read in French
   And sack-ray-blue!
You're sure to find
  Your tom-pair-doo

Write in French
  And you'll be famous
Just like muss-your
  Albert Camus

You can bet
  Your dairy-air
Your French will prove
  Your salve-war-fare

He who is
  A true believer
Shows his Gallic
  Joyed-a-fever

French cuisine
  Is all the rage
So drink Bored-O
  With soft from-age

Wear a little
  Black beret
And eat cross-ants
  With French calf-A

Then there's all
  That art you know
So speak bow-czar
  And art-new-foe

And what a joy
  To smoke Get-tans
While watching films
  That come from Cans

I guess it's not
  An easy job
To be a phony
  Stuck-up snob...

Such games in Frontz
  They also play
But there "c'est snob"
  To speak anglais!

Fool

I just got finished testing in school.
Now taking a nap I start to drool.
It drips off my chin
As my dreams begin.
My peers laugh; I feel like a fool!