Q. What do you call a musician without a significant other? 

               A. Homeless.

   A man is urinating one day when the end of his penis drops off.
   
   He thinks, "This is probably not a good thing," so he picks up the
   knobby end and sticks it in his pocket, then races off to the doctor.
   He waits in the surgery for a bit, then he's called in.
   
   The doctor greets him and asks, "What's the problem?"
   
   "Well, doctor, I was urinating and my knob fell off. Here it is." And
   he reaches into his pocket and hands the piece to the doctor.
   
   The doctor looks, frowns, then replies, "What are you talking about?
   This is a marshmellow!"
   
   "Well, that can't be right! I ate my last marshmellow on the way in
   here!"
   

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, 
"Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to 
lose my fucking arse."
Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. 
Immediately, he apologized for his bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied,
"If I don't sell more arse this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car."

Did I tell you I had this woman pounding on my door all night last night?

Yeah, I finally let her out!

Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn
out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the
bulbs work smarter, not harder.