What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called?

                             Missionary Position Impossible.

                          Recipe for Banana Bread
     
   
        Ingredients:

         2 Laughing Eyes
         2 Loving Arms
         2 Well Shaped Legs
         2 Firm Milk Containers
         1 Fur Lined Mixing Bowl
         2 Large Nuts
         1 Large Banana

         Method:

         1.  Look into Loving Eyes.
         2.  Fold in Loving Arms.
         3.  Spread Well Shaped Legs.
         4.  Squeeze and massage Milk Containers gently until Fur Lined Mixing
             Bowl is well greased.  Check frequently with middle finger.
         5.  Add Banana - work in and out until well creamed.
         6.  Cover with Nuts and sigh with relief.

         Cake done when Banana becomes soft.  Be sure to wash mixing utensils
         and don't lick the bowl.

         N.B.  If cake begins to rise leave town immediately.
  

A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding 
where to go for a drink.
The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the 
bartender will give each of us a free Guiness."
The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every 
third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table."
The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for 
free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid."
"That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you 
actually been there?"
"No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time." 

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. 

Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new 
Viagra?"

Grandpa looks at him and says "No Johnny, I will not."

"But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies. 

"Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you 
have no one worth writing to."

A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds
and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting
into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

"Oh dad," the boy sobbed, "when I was 6 I got the there's no Santa speech. 
At 7, I got the there's no Easter Bunny speech. When I was 8, you hit me 
with the there's no Tooth Fairy' speech. If you tell me that grown-ups 
don't really fuck, I'll have nothing left to live for."