A coupla Aggies, Buck and Thurleen, married after graduating from
   Texas A&M, are driving from Dallas down to a motel in Austin for their
   honeymoon. Along the way, Buck reaches over and puts his hand on
   Thurleen's knee.
   
   Thurleen smiles, blushes and says, "Oh Buck, we're married now, you
   can go farther than that!"
   
   So he drove on to Laredo.

A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker.
It gets dark and the hitch-hiker falls asleep. Suddenly bang, and the
hitch-hiker wakes up,"what the hell was that?". The truck driver
replies, "some kinda animal, go back to sleep."
Further the same thing again, bang, "What the hell was that?",
"some kinda animal again."
Further into the night, bang, bang, bang, "What the hell was that?",
"Some bastard!". "How terrible",says the hitch-hiker, "but there were
3 bangs"
The truck driver replies, "Yeah, well I had to go through two fences
to get the bastard. . ."

A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog.
He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & around
his head.
The druggist says "May I help you?" 
The blind man replies "No thank you, I'm just looking
around."

   If you are unsure of what "shagging" means, [1]this list may help. LD
   
   A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all
   he visits a Cornish farmer.
   
   "So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
   
   "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie
   boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
   
   "That's very interesting," replies the researcher and he leaves the
   Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer.
   
   "So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your Sheep?"
   
   "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie
   boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
   
   "That's very interesting," replies the researcher. "That's how they do
   it in Cornwall too." And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets
   a farmer from Abergaveny.
   
   "So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your Sheep?" "Well, I take the
   hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the
   front legs of the sheep and put them over my shoulders."
   
   "Over your shoulders?" replies the researcher. "Don't you put them
   over a wall like everyone else?"
   
   "What?" says the farmer. "And miss out on all the kissing?!"
   

When I was growing up I used to lick all the kids on the block except for 
the Browns...They were boys.