How do you clean a condom?

Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it!

A youngster devoted an entire rainy indoors afternoon to a
drawing he was doing with varicolored crayons. His mother
finally looked over his shoulder, and, puzzled, asked "Who's
that you're drawing, son?"
The son answered, "God."
"Don't be silly," reproved the mother. "Nobody knows what God
looks like."
Not even pausing in his task, the son announced calmly,
"They will when I'm finished!" 

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving.
They'd be wrong, but you could still use them. 

The seven kinds of passionate women 

   1.The Optimist 
     - "Yes! Yes! Yes!" 

   2.The Pessimist 
     - "No! No! No!" 

   3.The Confused 
     - "Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No!" 

   4.The Asthmatic 
     - written rendition of gasping 

   5.The Sprinter 
     - "Faster! Agh! Faster! Faster!" 

   6.The Religious 
     - "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! 

   7.The Mathematician 
     - "More! More! More! More! 

Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable 
childhood as an orphan in the ghetto.  When he turned 18 he
joined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night the
sergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eating
out of the discarded cans and jars.

"On your free, Lizard Pecker," he bellowed.  "You'll eat in 
the message hall -- you're no better than the rest of us!"