A friend told me "I can understand why men don't like vasectomies.
My uncle got a vasectomy, and paid for it with MasterCard. He
forgot to pay the bill, and the finance company came over to his
house and knocked up my aunt."

A little boy who prayed for a bicycle had an even more startling
surprise instead -- a baby sister.  That night he had a talk with God
about His delivery service.  "I got a sister instead of a bike," he
explained to God.  "Maybe some other kid wanted a sister and got my
bike.  Is there any chance we can keep the girl and get me a bike, too?"

from "Faith, Hope and Hilarity:  The Child's Eye View
of Religion" by Dick Van Dyke

I work for an internet provider, as tech support.
So I get all the goofy calls... One day, an older
lady called the service obviously knowing nothing
about computers. 
She said that we (the Internet company) had given
her a virus. I asked her how that was possible. 
She told me that her computer wouldn't go on. I
asked her if she had pushed the power button.... 
She said yes that she had pushed the button twice
and it still didn't go on. 

(I had to call everyone and tell them)