From the Honolulu Advertiser more than 20 years ago as printed
in Ann Landers, Sunday, April 7, 1996, (slightly rephrased):

Senators William B. Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of Hawaii
sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of church bells
to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. Table Tennis
Team after its tour of Communist China.

The bill failed to pass, cheating the Senate out of passing
the Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell Bill.

When we lived in Topanga we knew a family consisting of a single father 
and a houseful of young boys. One morning the youngest boy came into he 
kitchen in time to see their cat piddle in the toaster. (Why the cat did 
so, nobody could ever figure out. Never had any other similar problems 
with the beast.)
He went to tell his father and while he was out of the room one of his
brothers came in and tried to make some toast.
Now, at its best, cat piddle is not readily confused with Chanel No. 5, 
and when burned it is far, far worse. They had to leave the windows open 
for days, and the neighbors had comments.
Now, whenever I think I'm having a bad day, I remind myself that today, at
least, the cat didn't pee in the toaster.

Allen H.
Relieved Los Gatos Sciolist

When the judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook.
The bailiff opened the door to the holding cell and called,
"Crook, come forward." Five of the prisoners entered the courtroom.