A while back there was a "true" story (urban legend) about a guy
who was interrupted by the doorbell.

Upon opening the door he found some religious nuts who were very
annoying. As he was in the middle of preparing dinner, he'd gone
to the door with a very large knife in his hand.

At some point, he called out to his friends asking if they'd gotten
virgin ready for the sacrifice.  At this point, the callers fled
from the home, never to return again.

A medieval Jewish astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite 
mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. 
The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had 
brought about the woman's death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded 
him: "Prophecy, tell me when you will die!" 

The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him 
immediately, no matter what answer he gave. "I do not know when I will 
die," he answered finally. "I only know that whenever I die, the king will 
die three days later."

Yep, I was reading my Bible (King James V.) last night and found a
reference to PMS.

I believe it was in Matthew.

It was something like "...and Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to
Bethleham."