There come's a time in the affairs of a man when he
must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

- W. C. Fields 

If love is blind, then why do they make lingerie?

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a
   guy like Norman Einstein."
   - Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

According to a new survey 60% of adults say they're aware of someone
who's gone to work under the influence of drugs.
Apparently the other 40% have never heard of the Dallas Cowboys. 

     - Conan O'Brien 

"Oh no! I can't go to the deli! My singles cover has lapsed!"
                        -- Lyndall Holmes