"I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
There's a knob called `brightness', but it doesn't work."

                     -- Gallagher -- 

I'll have to admit the first part of my marriage was happy.
   But then, on the way from the ceremony to the reception ...

"The length of a film should be directly
related to the endurance of the human bladder." 

Alfred Hitchcock. 

Subject: Airheads
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all 
over the  world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be 
skinny like that  but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

-- Mariah Carey

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing
neckties? How intelligent is it to start the
day by tying a little noose around your neck?" 

    - Linda Ellerbee