"The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep."

Clinton aide George Stephanopolous.

The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.

                                      - - - Clifton Fadiman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

- Rodney Dangerfield

S. de M.: Father, how will I distinguish heretics from Catholics?
Answer: "Kill all. God will find them out" 

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the
shape of an Ouija board.  You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the
table would move across the floor to it.