If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
       him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another
       cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.

"A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his
 morning meal.
 'I would like to give you this personality test', said the outsider,
 'because I want you to be happy.'
 Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the toaster,
 saying: 'I wish the toaster to be happy, too.'"
                        -- AI Koans, from the Jargon File,
                                http://www.ccil.org/jargon/

When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,
smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

I can't hear you.  I have a banana in my ear. -
   Te audire non possum.  Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
                        -- Jason B. Standing, Esq.