submitted by mel & nan

There once was a girl from the East
who had a bad case of the yeast
her guy said "pish, pish"
"it smells like dead fish"
"and that's a smell I don't like in the least"

There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table. 

A habit uncouth and unsav'ry, 
               Kept the Bishop of Essex in slav'ry, 
                    Midst shrieks, hoots, and howls, 
                    He'd bugger large owls, 
               Which he kept in an underground av'ry.

                    There was a young lad from Nahant
                            
                    Who was made like the Sensitive Plant.
                            When asked, "Do you fuck?"
                            He replied, "No such luck.
                            
                    I would if I could but I can't."
                            

Part 1 of 12
   
                    There was a young fellow from Sparta,
                            
                    A really magnificent farter,
                            On the strength of one bean
                            He'd fart God Save the Queen,
                            
                    And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.