To an ancient divine of Tyrone 
            Was the art of rebushing cunts known. 
                In each cunt he would ram 
                A fine, prime raw ham, 
            And then deftly extracted the bone, 

A bad little girl in Madrid, 
               A most reprehensible kid, 
                    Told her Auntie Louise 
                    That her cunt smelled like cheese, 
               And the worst of it was that it did! 

Here lies the bones of Screwy Dick,
He spent his whole life with a corkscrew prick,
He searched and he searched in the feudal hunt,
To find the woman with the corkscrew cunt.
He finally found her and then dropped dead,
The son-of-a-bitch had a left hand thread.


Sent by Todd

               A young wife in the outskirts of Tass 
               Preferred frigging to going to mass. 
                    Said her husband, "Take Jacques, 
                    Or any young cock, 
               For I cannot live up to your ass." 

               There was a young man from Bangore 
               Who was tired and said to his whore, 
                    "If you'll only roll over 
                    I'll get my dog Rover, 
               And you can have six inches more."