There was young man named Pete
Who was a bit indiscrete.
He pulled on his dong
Till it grew very long
And actually dragged in the street 

   Here I sit
   What a caper
   I have to shit
   But I'm out of paper


  

There was a young student of Yale 
                                        Who was getting his first piece of tail. 
                                                      He shoved in his pole, 
                                                      But in the wrong hole, 
                                        And a voice from beneath yelled: "No sale!" 

               There was a young lady named Astor 
               Who never let any get past her. 
                    She finally got plenty 
                    By stopping twenty, 
               Which certainly ought to last her. 

There was a young lady named Maude 
            A terrible society fraud: 
                In company, I'm told 
                She was awfully cold. 
            But if you got her alone, Oh My God!