The parish commission at Roylette 
            Bought their vicar a pristine new toilet. 
                But he still voids his bowels 
                On a heap of old towels, 
            He's so very reluctant to soil it. 

There was a young fellow in Buckingham. 
            Wrote a treatise on cunts and on sucking them, 
                But later this work 
                Was eclipsed by a Turk 
            Whose topic was ass-holes and fucking them. 

                    There once was a man from Boston
                            
                    Who had a very small Austin.
                            There was room for his ass
                            And a gallon of gas,...
                            
                    His balls hung out and he lost 'em!

On a bridge overlooking a ravine
Archibald was screwing Kathleen.
The force of his lunge
Caused the whole bridge to plunge.
The worst fucking disaster yet seen. 

Said a meaty young woman of Croft,
  Amusing herself in the loft, 
     "A salami or wurst 
Is what I should choose first--- 
With bologna you know you've been boffed."