There was a young fellow named Sweeney 
               Whose girl was a terrible meanie. 
                    The hatch of her snatch 
                    Had a catch that would latch--- 
               She could only be screwed by Houdini. 

There was a young rump from Ra-cine
        Whose bot-tom was in-ter-est-ing-ly keen.
        No wig-gle or shook
        It was hard as a book,
        When it blos-somed I sqirt-ed my bean.

               There was a young colonel from Trent 
               Who lived in a lavender tent. 
                    He said that some sessions 
                    With interesting Hessians 
               Had taught him what war really meant. 

               There was a young man named Manis 
               Who had an extremely large anus. 
                    When he went to make doo 
                    It was four foot by two 
               And the smell was really quite heinous! 

               A pathetic appellant at Reno 
               Was as chaste as the holy Bambino, 
                    For she'd married a slicker 
                    Who stuck to his liquor 
               And scorned her ripe maraschino