I hate you, you hate me,
We're a disfunctional family.
Then a shot rang out and Barney hit the floor,
No more fucking dinosaur.

There was a young man of Natal 
Who was fucking a Hottentot gal. 
Said she, "You're a sluggard!" 
Said he, "You be buggered! 
I like to fuck slow, and I shall." 

A wonderful fish is the flea, 
            He bores and he bites on me. 
                I would love, indeed, 
                To watch him feed, 
            But he bites me where I cannot see. 

               Winter is here with his grouch, 
               The time when you sneeze and slouch. 
                    You can't take your women 
                    Canoein' or swimmin', 
               But a lot can be done on a couch. 

A parson who lived near Cremorne 
               Looked down on all women with scorn. 
                    E'en a boy's white, fat bum 
                    Could not make him come, 
               But an old man's piles gave him the horn.