There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?" 

A frugal young fellow named Wise 
               Gets the most from the dead whores he buys. 
                    After sporting a while 
                    As a gay necrophile, 
               For dessert he has maggot surprise. 

To the tune of 'Yesterday':

Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh I contracted Leprocy.

There was an old man from Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in a fright 
In the middle of the night
And found it was perfectly true.

There was a young man from Lyme
Who couldn't get limericks to sound right.
When asked why not
It was said that he thought
They were overly long and far to complex, possibly even dull.