A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. 
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. When he arrives home, he tells
his wife about the purchase he's just made.
"Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colors," he explains, "gold, silver and bronze."
"So what color are you gonna wear tonight?" she asks with a grin.
"Gold of course," says the proud man.
The wife responds, "Why don't you wear silver -- it would be nice
if you came second for a change!"

Q: What is a blonde who died her hair brown?
A: Artificial Intelligence.

One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom 
asked him how his day went. He said, "We're learning 
about sexual education." She smiled, and said, "At 
least he's learning something usefull." Billy went up 
to his room. A little later, Billy's mom went up to his 
room to call him down to dinner. She opens his door and 
sees him jerking off. She says, "Billy, when you're 
done with your homework, supper's on the table."

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.
After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?" 

The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!" 

"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then." 

Jon starts working in a lumber camp.  The boss says, "We 
work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at 
ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for 
a blow job any day but Thursday."

Jon says, "Why not Thursday?"

The boss says, "Because Thursday is your turn in the barrel."