A man was called to witness that a couple had been making love in a
park.

The witness: They were fucking your honor
The judge: Could the witness put it in a more Sheakspearian way:
The witness: The park was Dark but caused no fear
                    Until tiny sounds came to my ear
                    There was this couple on the ground there
                    and his balls were dangling in the air
                    and you know his what was in her you know where
                    If that wasn't fucking your Honor I wasn't there

Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
Little Johnny: I get up early.

A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash.
She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rolls
around, leans over, and splat! He pukes all over the dog. The
drunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool of
vomit, and slurs, "I don't remember eating that!"

You might be a redneck if you check the mileage on your home.

The complaint letter from Judi:

We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes 
about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate 
stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer 
and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all 
the way to the supream cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos 
all about hairassment and he will be on are side.

We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop 
this pursicushun. 

We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much 
as blond jokes and every so often a red head joke. If we don't 
get our way we will not date anybody that ain't blond and we 
will make up jokes about you and we will laff. 

Sined by the blonds at the ofise 
(sine with a penseel so you can erace it if you make a mistake)