A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend.
   The girlfriend asked, "Do you talk to your husband when you're making
   love ?"
   
   She thought about it a minute then said, "Well, no. But I could. I
   mean he has a cell phone and all now."

A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.
The teacher held up a picture of a cat.
"What animal is this?" she asked. 
"A cat!" said Eddie.
"Good job! Now, what is this animal?"
"A dog!" said Eddie.
"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a
Deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said,
"It's what your mom calls your dad."
"A horny bastard," called out Eddie.

Should you have any questions during the exam,
just raise your hand. This should cause enough
blood to flow to your brain to answer it yourself. 

   I can't help but wonder sometimes though why lovemaking is almost
   always referred to in theatrical terms. For example, surely you've
   heard men refer to their "performance". Well, even these days I don't
   have a lot of trouble with that.
   
   But... since I'm now past fifty, the "encores" are getting tuffer and
   tuffer.

A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn't 
have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back 
to their new apartment after the wedding.

The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing 
practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy, 
and the third a dentist.

They all decided to pull practical jokes on their newly married 
friends. The carpenter decided he would cut the slats in the bed
so that when they climbed into bed, the bed would collapse. The 
ordinary guy decided to short sheet the bed, so that when they got 
into it their feet wouldn't reach the bottom. The dentist chuckled 
and wouldn't tell anyone what he planned to do.

A week later the 3 friends all received letters in the mail. "Dear 
friends, we didn't mind the fact that when we got into bed, the
bed collapsed, or the guy that short sheeted it, but I'm gonna kill
the bastard that put the novacaine in the vaseline!"