A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field,
until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the
guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, "Yes, that's
my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but
now my wife is dead." The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really
too bad he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to so they could
enjoy the game together... "Oh no," the guy said, "they're all at the funeral." 

If the bird of wisdom is an owl, and the bird of peace 
is the dove, what is the bird of TRUE love?

The Swallow. 


Sent by Denise

What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig? 

    Nothing, there's some things even a pig won't do! 

Whats the definition of a perfect woman ?
          a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head 
so that you can put a pint of beer on it.
          b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.
          c) The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turn into a 
roastbeef sandwich and a sixpack.

Three girls died and were brought to the gates of
heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted
by St. Peter and his obedient angel.

St. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you
must answer this simple question." "Which is ...?",
they replied in unison. "Have you been a good girl?",
he asked the first girl.

"Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I got
married and was still virgin even after I got married."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl ...
the golden key."

"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl.

"Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before I
got married but was not after I got married." "Very good",
said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl ... the silver key."

"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl.
"Oh no, not at all," she said. "I practically had sex with
every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere,
anytime."

"Very good," said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl ...
my room key."