There are three 3rd Grade girls, a blonde, a brunnett, and a red-head.
Q. Which one is the tallest?
A. The blonde -- she is 18 years old!

John receives a phone call.
   
   "Hello," he answers.
   
   The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party
   about 3 months ago."
   
   John: "Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?"
   
   Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home.
   On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a
   good sport."
   
   John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?"
   
   Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
   
   John: "Say, you ARE a good sport."
   

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and 
found the boss waiting for him.  "What's the story this time, Jones?" he 
asked sarcastically.  "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss.  The wife decided 
to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the 
drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river 
(look, my suit's still damp), ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. 
Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was 
carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously 
disappointed.  "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and 
found the boss waiting for him.  "What's the story this time, Jones?" he 
asked sarcastically.  "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss.  The wife decided 
to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the 
drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river 
(look, my suit's still damp), ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. 
Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was 
carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously 
disappointed.  "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."

Shortest Book of the Month:
Ronald Reagan's "Memories"